Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Iz's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 15th, 2003
2:26 pm	missing jimmy Lauren misses Jimmy..Lauren wants to cry...Lauren is crying (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
8:53 pm	I'm grounded..so I'm bored as heck...im not supposed to be on aol eaither..shhh...but my mom is letting me go to a concert on Saturday because I already planned on going since like last month..so thats cool..she could have just said no I <3 u mommy! (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 30th, 2003
4:35 pm	This summer went by so fast. I cant believe I start school Tuesday.. ::cries:: I dont wana go!! I guess it will be good for me though to see everyone again...have to wake up before 2 pm :oP Im kinda excited to see how people changed over the summer..maybe I'm weird but I always look at everyone to see how they changed since I last saw them. Im going to Great Adventure tommorow..hopefully jess will come with me. We got really close this summer. Shes like my best friend now and I'v told her thing I never thought I could confide in anyone..so thanks JESSICA!! I love u chicky!! Current Music: drip drip drip (Comment on this)
Monday, August 18th, 2003
5:09 pm	jess keeps appoligizing to me. We were both crying. Its ok though. Im so stupid... I miss him already. But he was being so mean. I feel bad...I said some pretty nasty things but if I appoligize to him it will all be the same. Is it so much to ask for him to say hes sorry just onece?? Current Mood: lonely (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 14th, 2003
7:30 pm	You represent... angst. You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about everything. It's okay to sulk and be depressed, but life is short, and you only get one. It's only what you make it, and only you can make it improve. What feeling do you represent? brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 13th, 2003
8:58 pm	you are the "you suck, and that's sad" happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit brutal. which happy bunny are you? brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
Friday, July 11th, 2003
7:42 am	ehh.. sorta fucked. what fucked version of hello kittie are you? brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 10th, 2003
10:08 pm	Take the What High School Stereotype Are You? quiz. (Comment on this)
Monday, July 7th, 2003
2:50 pm	School It's weird how when I'm there I hate it. All I want is to leave..to get away. But now that it's summer and I'm bored. And I miss everyone. I miss jimmy. Hes away on vacation and wont be back till August :( I hope he calls me soon...I havent really seen jess or brit since school is out eaither. I saw julie and jess at the carnival. And I went to jimmy's house the week after school let out. But I still miss them..maybe I'll have a party.. Current Mood: bored Current Music: "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" -Rancid (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 26th, 2003
11:08 am	Carnival OMG!!! I had so much fun last night..I wasen't even going to go because it was pretty hot...but I did go. Brit came with me than we wakled over to pick up Jesse. She was kinda mad because we were like 45 mins late (Brittany's fault) but anyways Jess GOT HER NOSE PEIRCED!!!!! I don't really like it though...the hoop is too big it's kinda creepy. I like lip or eyebrow rings better. Ok so when we get to the carnival we see jim..so I go "Hi jim"...he said "hi" but than kinda waked away so I figured he diden't wana walk with us. I saw Julie than. We talked for awhile...Walked around a bit, than she made me call Chris and ask him to come..but he said he was busy. So than Julie kiknda wandered off. And than Brit found her cousin so that was cool just me and Jess now...I needed to tell her something so that was good. Than jimmy comes and gives me this prize he won aww how sweet :) It was a puppy picture :o) Than he asked me to go on this riuded with him..I felt bad leaving Jess there..but I coulden't say no..ya know..So we went on this creepy rided that holds u upside down and jers u all around I thought I was guna barf..jimmy kept asking if I was OK. Hes so sweet. Everyone says he likes me...but we'r just friends. Hell we never even hung out out of school together...yet. But by the end of the night we exchanged #s so maybe we'll do something today...Hes so adorable I swear hes like one of the only nice guys I know. But than again I woulden't want to be more than friends... Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: NOFX "War on Errorism" CD (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 14th, 2003
9:00 am	I loved him...but he hurt me. I still love him..but he never loved me...I cry and he tells me to go away. I miss him..but he hates me.. Current Mood: exanimate Current Music: Tainted love -Marilyn Manson (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 4th, 2003
10:39 pm	Black black is my favorite color would you like to know why? you see it seems, as i have been told black is the last thing you see when you die the brain cells get adjusted then and even if you were good you dont see white or purple or red Personal Quote: like you thought you should I think I want to be dead you maybe see red when you slit your wrists or purple when you fall on your head but all those dont matter because you see black when your dead. Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Ramones "Rock n Roll radio" (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 1st, 2003
7:21 pm	scared Do you ever feel so scared that you will never find what you are looking for? That you could walk forever and not even get anywhere? Is it wrong to stop looking for what doesent even exist? Is it wrong to sit and stop going nowhere? I sit and cry pondering this life. Current Mood: scared Current Music: the noise of the wet droplet falling onto the dry paper (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 27th, 2003
2:11 pm	Boxcar Racer... "Do you care if I don't know what to say? Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me? Will I shake this off, pretend it's all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me, there is." (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 18th, 2003
5:51 pm	school I don't want to go to school tommorow, I honestly hate that place. ::shivvers:: I have been out so much this year I can't stay home anymore. I'm counting down the days and we have less than a month left. I just can't wait for it to just be over. Maybe summer will give me some relaxing time and I can focus a little better on other things. Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 14th, 2003
9:29 pm	poem OK I wrote this and everyone said it was really good I dont think so but oh well comment me and tell me what you think... FEAR I don't want to face my fear, I shed a quiet tear, I tell her to please leave, My fear, you are not welcome here, I ask her nicely to please go away, I don't like the pain she brings me each day, Please I beg--you may not stay, My fear is neverending... I can't seem to leave it anywhere, All she does is stare and stare, She stays inside of me, She lingers within, I spin and I spin, I'm scared that she might never go, She is eating my heart and my soul, She is me, And the fear I be, I cannot conqour myself, For I am afraid of what is within Current Mood: artistic (Comment on this)
12:01 am	"just stop ok" STOP?? You want me to stop? haha it's quite funny really. Like when I sit there alone in a corner crying and noone even asks if I'm ok. You know what I'm not ok. I'm dead. I mean I know THEY diden't care...but my own friends? Will they even miss me? I'm shivering from the thought...it's almost 11 and I'm trying to get this stupid homework done...why? I don't even know. I can't concentrate...I just keep crying..Whats wrong with me? No its NOT PMS....it's life. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Blink 182 "Mutt" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 6th, 2003
9:09 pm	"God is not like men, who lie;He isn't a human who changes his mind. Whatever he promises,he does;He speaks and it's done."Numbers23:19 "So the Lord changed his mind and didn't bring on his people the disaster he threatened."Exodus32:14 makes u think don't it? (Comment on this)
9:06 pm	That's it. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of ignorant people. I'm tired of people making fun of me because im wearing a tail or a cloak or something trivial like that. I'm tired of people, whom i am perfectly nice to, being mean to me for no fucking reason. I can't just stand back and be cool calm and collected anymore. i cant just be nice to them and take thier shit anymore. Something's gotta change. No more Miss Nice Weird Chick. This is war, this is it. Fuck You Society. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003
6:35 pm	YOU NEVER KNOW One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "You are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, began to think about college. Kyle decided to go to Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others. *I have read this story in magazines, books, and chain letter e-mails. No matter how many times I'v read it I cry. It means so much--one person's kindness. I wish kids would just relize this and stop being mean to people. I dunno far-fetched wish. I'll pray on it.* (Comment on this)